Monday, March 28, 2011

Gimme a head with... confessions of a part-time (hair) model

Ever wonder what happens at a hair show? Well, so did I, so when Heidi asked me, on Saturday night (while we were enjoying a performance by the saintly saints and scintillating sinners of Goat Song Theatre) if I wanted to join her in being a hair model for our friend Beth at a hair show on Sunday, I said yes. We've helped her out before, serving as models while she practiced up-dos etc, and so I thought it would be kind of fun, and all I would have to do was sit around while someone was playing with my hair. Awesome.

So. Off we went to the Sheraton Hotel downtown (so close to work, I could have wandered over to the office, if I had been so inclined) - we had a small adventure with parking (parking in Chicago is ALWAYS sort of an adventure, yes?) and then were waiting for La Stylista (Beth) to arrive. And we started to... notice things. Things that gave us a bit of... pause. For instance, the name of the show was the Proud Lady Beauty Show. Fun, right? Right? Well, yes. So anyway, short and short of it is, it was a show for African-American women. It included makeup and hair products and other assorted stuff, which is cool, right, but, for one small detail -we are not African-American. We sort of stood out a little bit in the crowd (one of the makeup ladies, bless her for trying, saw Heidi and I approach, gave us a big smile and said "Hello, girls! I've got some beautiful... lip gloss for you to try!")

It made me start to wonder what exactly was going to be done to my head to make it interesting for the target audience of this show. Because my hair? Is very fine, and straight as a republican minister from Kansas.

But then Beth turned up and we learned that we would be given the La Brasiliana treatment on our heads. This product is a deep conditioning sort of thing, with Keratin and Collagen and it provides smoothness, shine and manageability. Which brings me to another issue - this treatment is perfect if you want to achieve all those things - but did I mention my hair is fine? And stick straight? Pretty much all the time? All I have to do usually is brush it and it lays flat by itself. That's all it does. It doesn't curl, it doesn't frizz, it just kind of sits there. So a good candidate for a deep conditioning treatment I was definitely not. But we were what they had to work with, so on with the show - we were instructed to go and wash our hair - in the bathroom sink. We actually got all the way to the bathroom when we were called back - washing stations had been found, so we didn't have to try and wash our hair in the bathroom (thank goodness for small favors).

After the washing, we had to dry our hair "big" to make it look wild and unruly. As Beth started to work on me, she found a reason (and thus a marketing tool) for my treatment - my hair knots up, especially when it is wet, making it really hard to comb through. The treatment is supposed to help with this (we'll see). Anyway, I had to sit for a long time, while she dabbed some stuff onto my head with a little brush, worked it in, dried and then flat ironed with a really really hot tool (something like 450 degrees, I think it was. That sucker was smoking, it was so hot). She did only half of my head at first and then had me walk around like a before and after display, letting people touch the (incredibly soft) finished side of my head. And, amusingly enough, people actually did want to touch my hair - the original texture, versus the smooth treated side. And lots of people came over to watch while Beth was working, asking what she was doing. When I was in the chair, I didn't have my glasses on, so I was pretty much blind, so I did my best (blind) Vanna White impression, smiling and holding up the bottle of product so everyone could see what it was. When she was done, with my whole head, I reached up to touch it - and it was smoothy mcsmooth, like a big stick of buttah.

We were at the show pretty much all day, pausing for lunch breaks and to walk around a little, chat with people and hand out brochures and stuff. Everyone was super nice and friendly and it was a lot of fun. I am not allowed to wash my hair (or pull it back - eeek!) until tonight, and so we will see how long the treatment lasts and if it stays all smooth-like-buttah for very long. My particular treatment would have set me back $250 if I'd had it done in the salon and is supposed to last for 2 months. We shall see. I would recommend it for people with bigger hair problems than mine - frizz, or uncontrollable curls or any other kinds of issues.

It was a lot of fun being "the talent" - so if Beth asks again, I'll spend part of my time (hair) modeling, part of my time next to one of the Conchords, and the rest of the time doing my normal job...

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