"You Smell Like Dinner"

Recap: True Blood season 4, Episode 2 (Thanks, OnDemand!)

SPOILER-SPOILER-SPOILER-SPOILER-SPOILER

(don't read this if you don't want to know. Okay, you've been warned.)

Where did we leave Sookie? Oh, right, in the arms of Eric Northman. But she's far more dumber than your average, not blind woman, and throws him out. Kind of. She asks him to leave, in very strong terms. He owns the house, right? She can't revoke his invitation, so she has to use her fairy powers of persuasion. Or whatever. Eric swaggers off, Sookie runs off to Bill. Sorry, that's King Bill to us peons. He even has guards around the house. She whines about how Eric bought her house and like, now he's always there and stuff. Um, that's a problem because why? Bill is all like "Ah will take cayur of that fer yew." Then he flashes back to the 80s when he was a punk vampire in London and made some kind of secret vampire deal with Nan Flanigan (oh, yay, she's a permanent cast member!). And we found out that Louis Pasteur was masterminding the creation of the synthetic blood. Sure, he can be a vampire, but where's Bubba??

Maybe he should be doing something to improve vampire/human relations in the post-Russell Edgington world. The crazies are protesting outside Fangtasia, and Hoyt gets into it with one of the protesters. Later on, Jess offers some of her blood, but Hoyt doesn't want it. Jess gets upset and takes off in the car. She says she's off for some advil for him, but she heads to Shreveport instead.... there's a hot fangbanger that she's got her eye on... Baby vampire gone wild...

In Hot Shot, Jason is feeding hungry were-panthers (he's sort of like their brother-cousin now, I guess, right?) and they lock him in a freezer. Crazy Felton and Crystal have a plan for him - they're gonna turn him into a panther, too, so that he and Crystal can have baby panthers. Dude, Jason, we told you that girl was trouble!

Meanwhile back at the ranch - wait, magic shoppe, Lafayette and the coven re-animate a bird and awaken all kinds of dark forces and shit. Oooohhhhhh, spooky witches. Bill has a spy on the inside, as it were, and orders Eric (!! Dammit, Bill, WTF!) to go to the magic shop and, in the words of Jack Donaghy, "Shut it down." But first, he asks Eric to sell Sookie's house back to her. Or, short of that, to Bill. That would be hell to the n-o. Your majesty. But Marnie's getting excited and wants the gang to try and reanimate a human - fun times for a Friday night! Eric busts in, on cue, asking if anybody's looking for a dead body. But no, he's just kidding. He's not there to play, he's there to shut.it.down. He grabs Marnie who starts chanting. Lafayette joins in when Eric grabs Tara. And then the dark forces really start a-brewing. Marnie has tapped into something really dark and dangerous...

Back to Sookie. She's driving down her street in her little yellow car, thinking Sookie-thoughts when she sees.... a running shirtless man. Oh no! What to do! But then she sees... it's Eric. Who somehow lost his shirt between the magic shop and Sookie's street. Whatever, don't overthink it!! He's looking (adorably) lost and confused and she calls out to him. "Eric," she says, "You know me." And he's all like "No, I don't" and she's all "It's Sookie."

"Who?"

{Swoon}

And end of episode two. What's happening in Bon Temps?

i need a hug...

This is my kitty boy, Start. He passed away in his sleep last night. He was on the old side (15 or 16 at our best estimate), and he had a tumor in his belly.

We adopted him from a co-worker in 2002 or 2003 (as far as I can remember). She was going to have a baby and her husband was afraid for the baby around the cats (which I don't get AT ALL. I've had cats my whole life, including when I was a baby, and I'm totally fine. Plus, what kind of d-bag makes his wife choose between a baby and her pets? That she had as kittens? No way, no day. I'd never give up my sweet kitties. For anything. Potential boyfriends, take note.) When we went to visit her home, to meet the cats, Start and Finish, I remember sort of bonding right away with Start. He's the one who'd come cuddle on my lap, sit next to me on the chair while I was working at the computer, follow me around the house like a puppy (he even came when I called him!)

Both of the cats are good-natured and they have never, ever bitten me. Start was a sweet boy and I'll miss him.

post mortem...

Recap of True Blood, Season 4, Episode 1: "She's Not There"

(Spoilers are contained in this post, by the way. So if you haven't watched don't read. Or if you read, don't blame me. Okey dokey?)

Look, I get that the series can't exactly follow the books. Where would the suspense be? All of us well versed in all things Sookie would know what's going to happen, blah blah blah. I get it, right? But there are just some things that I like in the books that I wish would have come to life in the series. For instance:

1. I liked it when Tara was in the background, running a clothing store, not cage fighting and kissing girls. Why can't we introduce JB duRone? Are there too many good looking residents of Bon Temps? Can't take one more hot guy wandering around??

2. I liked when Sam was a regular guy, without anger management issues and a sneaky half brother and messed up family.

3. I liked that Terry and Arlene were NOT together and that there was no damned demon baby.

4. I liked Calvin Norris when he wasn't a meth dealing uncle-daddy. Why did they do that to Calvin? Why? Why?

5. I liked Andy Bellefleur when he was just a bumbling deputy cop, married to a sweet schoolteacher and, this is important, without the additction to V.

6. I liked the fact that there was no Nan Flanigan and no mysterious "Authority." Who the hell are these guys, anyway?

7. I liked when Bill Compton was in Peru through most of Dead to the World. Out of sight, out of mind, buddy.

On the other hand, I do like the addition of baby vamp (princess?) Jessica, and the expansion of Hoyt's character, and I love the fact that Lafayette is not dead.

But there is not one single normal resident of Bon Temps. Not one. Do they all need to have bat shit crazy storylines all running at the same time? We can't have one moment of happiness for anybody?

Apparently not. We join Sookie in Faery, where she has gone into the light (but not in a dead way) to join her fae relatives. But it's not all light fruit and flowy dresses and dancing like children of the - uh - light. The Faery Queen wants to close the portal into their world, keeping all those with faery blood inside. Sookie refuses to eat the light fruit, thinking something fishy is going on. Too bad for Barry Bellboy, randomly re-introduced here (in the books, he ends up working for Stan in Dallas. Since I think Stan got killed off last season, that wouldn't have worked.) and also for Sookie's granddaddy, Earl, who'd been missing (presumed drunk?). Sookie is helped by Claude (weird shift of roles here, for Claude and Claudine. I think I liked him better when he was an ego-maniacal male stripper and romance cover model) to escape.

Except - surprise! She returns to Bon Temps only to find that it's a year later and Jason has up and sold her house. Everyone figured Bill had killed her (well, sure) and gave up on her ever coming back. Thanks a lot y'all! Sookie tells Jason where she's really been - "I was in fairy land! It was, well, kind of lame, but I met granddaddy! Here, he gave me his watch for you!'

Jason's a cop now, and in another weird shift of roles, is actually the brains behind the Bon Temps police force because Andy is addicted to V (maybe at the end of the season, Sookie will find out that the fairies dropped her into Bizarro Bon Temps so that she'll want to come back and eat the light-fruit?). He sold the house to some large corporation AIK International (huh, hmmm, I wonder who that could be?) and they redid the house (cleaning out all maenad-related messiness). Just outside, Sookie finds she has two vampire shaped lawn ornaments - Bill and Eric. Bill orders (?!) Eric to leave and he does. What is happening??

We see what else has been happening since Sookie's been gone. Hoyt and Jessica are playing house, and that's not going all that great. She's not much of a cook, and she's starting to want to have more of a variety, blood wise. Uh oh.

Lafayette and Jesus are still together, and dabbling in the occult. Well, Jesus is dabbling. Lafayette is, rather reluctantly, tagging along, despite his own true power. Jesus manages to convince him to come hang out with his coven, led by a housewife-ish witch named Marnie. Yeah, sure. This is going to end up great.

Tara, scarred for life because of Franklin, and presumably saddened by the loss of Sookie, took off on the road, and uh, became a lesbian and a cage fighter. They haven't really explained what's been happening with Tara. But something is definitely up with her girlfriend. Stay tuned.

Sam is taking shifter anger management classes for shooting Tommy in the butt. He meets a girl. They shift into horses and run around together. Woo hoo! Tommy is (strangely) dating or possibly (hopefully?) scamming Hoyt's mom.

Arlene had her baby, Mikey, spawn of Rene, who is possibly evil (why? huh? where is this going? they're either going to have to kill the baby, which nobody wants to see cause that's just mean, or, like, exorcise him, which nobody wants to see because nobody really even cares about Arlene.) Terry is the sane one in this relationship. Terry sane? Jason smart? See? Bizarro Bon Temps.

Oh, and Bill is the King of Louisiana.

!!!

I know, right? Despite the fact that he held no office, had no experience in leadership or anything like that, he kills Sophie-Anne and is crowned (ish) by Nan Flanigan. Blah blah, vampire politics, blah. That's why he gets to order Eric around. Boo.

Speaking of our tall, blond, viking vampire, you'd better sit down when I tell you this- he's the one who bought Sookie's house! I'm shocked (not really). He walked right in on Sookie (who is naked, of course) and declares "You're MINE."

End of the first episode.

Neil Gaiman's Vampire Sestina

Who says it's all pictures of hot guys and vampires around here, huh? I can get all literary and shit too. Lookit, here's a poem. About vampires. Whatever. Enjoy.

Vampire Sestina (by Neil Gaiman)

I wait here at the boundaries of dream,
all shadow-wrapped. The dark air tastes of night,
so cold and crisp, and I wait for my love.
The moon has bleached the colour from her stone.
She’ll come, and then we’ll stalk this pretty world
alive to darkness and the tang of blood.

It is a lonely game, the quest for blood,
but still, a body’s got the right to dream
and I’d not give it up for all the world.
The moon has leeched the darkness from the night.
I stand in shadows, staring at her stone:
Undead, my lover . . . O, undead my love?

I dreamt you while I slept today and love
meant more to me than life — meant more than blood.
The sunlight sought me, deep beneath my stone,
more dead than any corpse but still a-dream
until I woke as vapour into night
and sunset forced me out into the world.

For many centuries I’ve walked the world
dispensing something that resembled love –
a stolen kiss, then back into the night
contented by the life and by the blood.
And come the morning I was just a dream,
cold body chilling underneath a stone.

I said I would not hurt you. Am I stone
to leave you prey to time and to the world?
I offered you a truth beyond your dreams
while all you had to offer was your love.
I told you not to worry and that blood
tastes sweeter on the wing and late at night.

Sometimes my lovers rise to walk the night . . .
Sometimes they lie, cold corpse beneath a stone,
and never know the joys of bed and blood,
of walking through the shadows of the world;
instead they rot to maggots. O my love
they whispered you had risen, in my dream.

I’ve waited by your stone for half the night
but you won’t leave your dream to hunt for blood.
Good night, my love. I offered you the world.

c'est Alex Friday!

Ohhh la la la.... c'est magnifique!

countdown to the new season of True Blood...

A Sunday Afternoon Patti Party

I don't remember the first time I heard Stephen Sondheim's Company. I do remember that the first cast recording I listened to was not that of the original cast, but the 1990s revival starring Boyd Gaines. I did see the more recent revival with the John Doyle everybody plays instruments staging that starred Raul Esparza (both on stage and on PBS). But I was over the moon excited when I heard that the dreamy dream cast assembled by Lonny Price for the NY Philharmonic would be coming soon to a theater near me. A movie theater, to be more precise.

I was so excited, I went twice. The first time, I dragged my mom and we went to Rosemont. It was last Wednesday, it was raining and our mapquest sucked. The theater was not even half full, which was disappointing (apparently the theaters in Chicago had better showings) but the film itself was wonderful.

Today, I threw myself a Sunday Afternoon Patti Party and took myself to Evanston (didn't need any mapquest for that!). I am ashamed to tell you that I geeked out completely and even wore the shirt I got during the City Center run of Gypsy. You know. Red? With the eyes? (oh, I know. But if a girl can't wear a Patti shirt to a Patti related theatrical event, when can she wear it?) Look, you have your holidays and I have mine, okay? When I got to the theater, I started heading towards the Cine Arts side, and the usher was like "Theater Four is on the other side" and I started to ask him how he knew where I was going, but then I was like, yeah, duh.

The theater was PACKED. I happily settled in to an aisle seat with my smuggled in snacks from World Market (pretzels, weird gummy German fruit snacks that I thought were grapes, but I think are black currants - schwarze johannisbeere? Anybody? Hazelnut wafer cookies, a chunky Kit Kat and a Bounty Bar. No, I didn't eat all of it. I hadn't had any lunch and thought I might get hungry.) and a bottle of vitamin water that I'd bought from the theater for $4.50. (!)

This audience was more on top of things - they applauded (they even applauded when Paul G first came out, which was kind of funny, because you know, we weren't actually there and he could not actually hear us), they laughed, they were reasonably well behaved (no errant cell phones went off, maybe word of Patti's Wrath had already spread? Even though She could not actually see us?) For a group that hadn't rehearsed together until the final days of this project, I thought they all did quite well.

Highlights?

NPH, of course. For me, the perfect Bobby - fun loving, youthful bachelor, kind of stumbling through life in the big city, while his good and crazy friends all around him are getting married or are married. Or have been married three or four times. And also divorced. He watches these examples of married life, none of them really inspiring him to get married himself. What do you get out of it? He wonders. (Poor Baby.) But as the show goes on, he starts to see - and by the end, although he's sitting alone in his apartment, he's looking hopefully at the empty seat beside him, maybe his bachelor days are numbered.

The Patti - pitch perfect as Joanne. That's all. I would watch her do just about anything. No. You know what? Forget about the qualifier. I will watch her do anything. She blew them all out of the water with her "Ladies Who Lunch". Stunning.

It was a great way to spend an afternoon and I would go back again if I could. You all have one last chance to see it - there's one more showing sometime this week.

it's back!

Happy Alex Friday! (Check him out in July's Vogue!)

tony winners & losers

Highlights and lowlights from last night's Tony's (I know I should have totally blogged this live, what's wrong with me?)

Winners
1. The Patti. Just for showing up.


2. Neil Patrick Harris as host = love. Not so crazy about opening number, I think they should have started off with the dueling hosts thing with Hugh Jackman. That was adorbs.

3. Anything Goes & Sutton Foster. Yeah, Patti's Reno Sweeney will always be number 1 for me, but you gotta love Sutton Foster. I wish someone would give me a boatload of money so I could go off and see this show.

4. The Book of Mormon Yep. It sure did win a lot. I haven't seen it (or South Park, either, for that matter) but I am intrigued by it. And that damn "I beeeliiieeeeveeee" has been stuck in my head since last night.

5. The Motherchucker with the Hat - yay presenters for not yielding to temptation to say the full name of this show! (And also? How come in the little best play blurb for this one, nobody was even wearing a hat??)

6. The War Horse puppet horse. (I also really want to see this show...)

7. It's Raining Men. Completely awesome and woke the show up in the 11th hour. (Had no idea Paul Schaefer wrote it).

8. Company! Oooh, looking forward to seeing this in the theater on Wednesday!

9. Mark Rylance's speech. I have no idea what he was on about, but I liked it. UPDATE! It was a poem!! According to the Sun Times:Just as he did three years ago when he won for “Boeing-Boeing,” Rylance quoted a poem by Louis Jenkins, an obscure poet from Minnesota.

“Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is a totally earth-related craft, but a lot more interesting than pot-making or driftwood lamps,” he said to the bemused crowd. When asked later why he had recited the poem, he said, “I don’t know. I was getting a little bored.”


10. Angela Lansbury for bringing the class.

Losers
1. Frances McDormand - glad to see you got all dressed up, Fran. WTF? Your Tony has been revoked.

2. How to Succeed in Business... based on the performance they showed, it looked kind of boring. And this is supposed to make people want to attend theater? I am also looking at you, Catch Me If You Can.

3. Spider Man: Turn this shit off: Many jokes, and also many shots of Bono looking po'd. Well, that's what you get for crashing the Tony's, dude (but love you! Still looking forward to seeing the U2 concert next month - don't quit your day job!!) and also completely boring scene from the show where Peter and MJ... just sit there. No flying or any action. Snore.

4. Tyne Daly in Master Class ??? No.

5. No surprises. Chris Rock, who apparently would have prefered to have been home watching some basketball game (they should have let him) said it best - why even bother reading the nominees for best musical? Massive waste of time. Everyone knew what was going to win. Even I knew what was going to win, and I only saw three shows this season (only 2 of which were nominated for anything). I just wish there had been a few more surprises.

6. The little 'my broadway moment' snippets or whatever they were called - there was only one, the one with John Leguizamo. I thought that was a cute idea, have the nominees (not just the big name slumming movie stars) talk about their first Broadway experience or whatever. But there was not follow through, so John's monologue was kind of pointless.

7. Big name slumming movie/tv stars. Look, CBS, I get it. You need to show some famous faces so that the people at home know what they're watching. Can't let it be just about theater, oh, no. I get it. But I wish that the actual nominees got more screen time, or chances to be presenters. It is, after all, their night. Or it should be. And some of them made sense - Whoopi introducing Sister Act, and Robin Williams etc. But Marg Helgenberg? Because why? Oh, right, because CSI is on CBS. Check. You could just about get away with Kelsey Grammer and Viola Davis and Catherine Zeta Jones, because both the ladies won last year, and he was nominated last year, but what are you gonna do next year?

8. Christie Brinkley - was she for real?

Glee! Live!

Some of my thoughts about the show...

It was fun. I had a great time. I had bought my ticket the day of the show, and it was a pretty good seat, on the floor, kind of in the middle. I think it would have been more fun if I had been closer to my friends, since I was a single 30something in a sea of giddy teenagers and CRA-ZA-ZY fans. One of them in front of me had a 2 sided poster - one side was devoted to Finn and one side to Puck. Another fan had a homemade t-shirt with "Monteith" emblazoned on the back. Yeah. I was with those fans (but I was on the floor, what did I expect?).

The show opened with the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers and, yeah. They were all right. It went on kind of long. And since I worked at a dance company with some truly extraordinary dancers, it takes a lot to wow me when it comes to dance. These guys were all right.

The Glee part of the show didn't start until 9:00. When the opening strains of Don't Start Believin' started up, we were on our feet and we stayed there throughout the entire show. The Glee clubbers were all there - represented via video were Will Schuester (since he's off with NKOTBSB) and Coach Sylvester. A few of the Warblers were also there, we all know it's really Blaine and the Pips anyway. And he was there. And I love him. So I was happy (but why the teaser about the big 80s number without giving us Blaine and Rachel singing "Don't You Want Me"??

My favorites - Blaine (Darren Criss) and Kurt (Chris Colfer - his "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" just melts my heart, I just wanted to give him a hug and then dress him up in corduroy and put him on a shelf in my room), Santana (Naya Rivera) with her awesome vocals on "Valerie" and her duet with Mercedes (Amber Riley) which I maintain should have TOTALLY WON the duets contest. Brittany (Heather Morris) is a completely fierce dancer - now her number wowed me! What else? Oh, I love Quinn's (Diana Agron) new hair (I wonder if mine would look cute like that?) and Lea Michele absolutely brought it on "Firework". And yes, I loved the boys singing "Friday" and I was delighted that they let Artie get up out of his wheelchair for Safety Dance. That poor guy is not really in a wheelchair, you know? And he has to sit in one for the whole tour. But he gets to bust a move on one song...

Yeah. That's what I remember about the show. Some of the time, I was thinking 'I can't believe you're sitting here with all these crazies' and the rest of the time, I just joined in and became one of the crazies. If you can't beat em, join em, right?

Oh - and I know the set list is made up of, like, stuff they sing on the show, but I thought it might have been nice to add a little Chicago style variety into the mix. When they were all like, we love you, Chicago! And launched into "New York" it was weird. I love New York (the place AND the song), as you all know, so I was screaming my head off in a fit of fan girl frenzy (see "crazies, became one" note above), but I also think "My kind of town" or "Sweet home Chicago" would have been a nice (personal!) touch.

Still love you, Glee.

xoxoxo (have suddenly morphed into Gossip Girl?)

last night on the bus...

Part of my new commuter experience is taking the bus from Union Station to Navy Pier. If it's a nice day, I'll sometimes walk part of this. If I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll walk the whole way. Not in this heat though.

Mostly, I take the 120 and 121 buses, which are "express" routes to and from Union and Ogilvie Stations/Navy Pier. My rides are usually pretty uneventful, since it's mainly business commuters going to and from work. Yesterday though, was kind of fun.

So I was on the 120 yesterday afternoon, on my way home. The buses sit at the depot by the Pier, and so I was just hanging out, waiting to go. The driver was on the phone, talking about some friend of hers named (I swear) Aquanetta (is it like that native American custom of naming your child after the things you see? So like Cloud Dancing or Sitting Bull? Did someone's mom use some hairspray one morning and decide it was a lovely name for a girl?). So that made me laugh.

Then, somewhere on the way to Ogilvie, this lady next to me starts talking on her phone to her friend Pam. And it's all like blah blah blah, which I kind of hate, but then it got interesting. She was saying that she had to reschedule a dinner with her "friend" Tracy, but Tracy had to cancel which was fine with lady-next-to-me because evidently, Tracy hates this lady's guts now and is saying all kinds of mean things about her. (I was sitting there thinking, oooh, like what? And then she gave details). This Tracy (apparently) sent an email to my seatmate wherein she called this lady a wino and accused her of child neglect. Who does that in an email? If you're worried about your friend having a drinking problem, wouldn't you be more gentle about it? Or, like, have an intervention?

And instead of telling her to naff off, my seatmate was talking about rescheduling this dinner with Tracy (who kind of sounded like a beeyotch to me). It was totally better than a soap opera. She would have kept talking but we entered the Loop which is kind of a dead zone.

I totally didn't want to hear any of these things, but I didn't have a book or anything, so I was kind of a captive audience to this lady and her drama. So message to all of you bus riders. If you don't want your entertaining conversations to become blog fodder for the likes of me, maybe you should keep your voice down?

glee live!!

Allow me to share with you a tale of woe, followed by a tale of joy, all accompanied by the delightful strains of a Journey song, sung by a misfit show choir. Ready?

So last year, I heard about the Glee! Live show. And I thought, hahahha, yeah, right. I'm thirty-whatsit years old, I'd be sitting around with a bunch of kids. Not for me, as much as I love the show, and as much as my inner Gleek was dying to bust out.

But then I started thinking about it, and I really wanted to go. But I was too late. It was sold out. Sad, right? I stalked ticketmaster and eventually I ventured onto sites like Stubhub and asked myself how badly did I really want to go? I stalked some tickets on Stubhub, and on the day of the show, there were some affordable tickets.

I came really close to buying one, except I worked in the city you know, and by the time I made up my mind to do it, I would have had to go and pick up the ticket at a Stubhub location (somewhere on Randolph, I think), taken the train home, got in the car and hotfooted it to Rosemont. I don't think I would have made it. So I didn't go. In the end it was a good thing I didn't go, because the train got really delayed and I wouldn't have made it in time anyway.

So that's the tale of woe.

The tale of joy?

I'm going tonight!!! What what!??!?! Was talking to Heidi and she's taking Beth for her birthday (don't worry, it's not a secret), and I was like, are there more tickets? And there were and so I'm going to join them. With my special new hairdo. Wooo!

I don't think I have to tell you the moral of this story (all together now!):

DON'T STOP! BELIEEEEEEEEVIN'!!!!!