accidentally unhelpful

Have you ever had that thing where someone asks you a question and you go totally blank? Then you stutter out a stupid, unhelpful answer? And the person then thinks you are a total bitch/moron?

So, yes. I was on the train yesterday, ready to go home. I was early, so I settled into my seat, thinking my thoughts, untangling my ipod cord, etc. This chick comes onto the train and asks me "Does this train go to Fox Lake?" And I blanked. I was a) surprised that someone was talking to me, because it just doesn't happen very often on the train (this is metra, not the cta) and b) I honestly didn't remember. I get different trains sometimes, depending on when I leave the office. One of them goes to Deerfield, one goes to Grayslake, one to Fox Lake, and I could not, for the life of me recall if this one did or not. All I knew was, it went to the MG, and where it goes after that really is not of much concern to me. Naturally, I stuttered out a stupid answer (I think I said "I think so" or "I guess so" or something) and she gave me a hard look, and said "I think it does." To which I said nothing, but was thinking "OK, great, why did you ask me then?" And PS - wouldn't you think to, I don't know, look at the great big giant neon signs posted at either end of the platform? You know, the ones that list all of the stops - like, BEFORE you got on the train? Why is your destination suddenly my problem??

People ask me directions and stuff like that all the time. I have no idea why. Do I look nice? Or knowledgeable? Or maybe because I Walk with Authority/look like I know what I'm doing? Maybe I just look like Rand Flippin McNally?

One time, I was in New York, and someone stopped me for directions. It was my second time there, or something, and I felt very very smug that I seemed to fit in so well. Of course, she had no way of knowing that I'd actually just turned myself around as I had gone for many blocks in the wrong direction and only just realized it! I remember this very clearly - I was on Lex trying to find the subway. After this encounter, and empowered by my apparent nativeness, I crossed the street brazenly (if you've seen New Yorkers cross the street, you will know what I mean here) and promptly twisted my ankle. After that I limped down Lex for as far as I could make it and then hailed a cab back to my friend's apartment downtown.

Also fairly recently someone on the train asked me how much it cost to get to some stop or other - I have a monthly pass and genuinely had no idea. But look, I don't LIKE to be intentionally unhelpful, it just sometimes happens that way. In the case of the fare question, I busted out my schedule where there is a fare table and helped her work it out that way (see? Sometimes I am such a nice person!). But yesterday.... yeah. I didn't have a schedule on me, even. I was totally deer in the headlights. So, Lost Train Lady from yesterday, I apologize. Next time, I endeavor to be much more helpful. Or something. Now if you will please excuse me, I've just noticed a picture of Gerry Butler in the copy of the Red Eye that some other dude is reading, and I must check it out over his shoulder.