Went to see Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter last night. It was...well, yeah. Don't get me wrong - I read the book, and I enjoyed it very much. It was like a little hidden part of history, that was kind of like, you think you know what happened during the Civil War? Well, you don't. This is what really happened, and here is the never-before-heard-story of Abe Lincoln, who was much more kick ass than we were ever led to believe in school. So I had high hopes for the film, especially given the fact that it stars Ben Walker, who I was extremely fortunate to have seen making history all sexy-pants (what?? that's what the poster said!) as Andrew Jackson in Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson on Broadway (again during that fateful trip a few years ago.). Yeah, he was awesome in that. So much so that I was sort of calling it Andrew Jackson Vampire Hunter. Whoops. Wrong presidential mash-up.
Anyway, Mr. Walker was really good as the ax-spinning defender of human kind. And really? Was the ax spinning really that necessary? It looked really cool, sure, but did the vampires get any deader after watching Lincoln twirl the ax like a baton? Did they get impressed to death? Abe survives just about everything in this movie - he gets pounded by the vampire who killed his mother (don't ask), he gets a crazy-looking wild horse thrown at him (really, don't ask) in a looong sequence that looked really crappy, during one of his vampire hunting escapades, the tables are turned and he finds himself hanging upside-down in a dungeon - and escapes! Unharmed! With another notch on his ax handle, of a vampire vanquished. And then, towards the end of the movie, there's a super long, extremely pointless sequence on a flaming train. Oh and the (long, tall, wooden) tracks have been set on fire too! And they're on the side of a cliff on the way to Gettysburg to deliver silver weapons to the union troops to defeat the vampire rebels on the confederate side (I told you not to ask). Super Hero in Chief!!
But aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show? (Ha! Sorry, couldn't resist). I think it could have been better. If it had been done in a sort of (don't laugh) more realistic way, like it was giving you a glimpse of an untold story, it might have worked better. As it was, people went into it (not many, though, from the look around the theater) thinking the premise was crap and then having that belief confirmed by flying horses and flaming trains. I didn't hate it. It was enjoyable in a WTF is going on here, unintentionally funny kind of way. If you're interested in it, I'd suggest reading the book first.
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