women on the verge of a nervous breakdown...

What is a girl to do? Poor Pepa, she gets ditched by her man, Ivan, via answering machine and then stalked by his crazy ex-wife. And just when her day couldn't get any worse, she finds out she's pregnant AND her ditzy model best friend is frantic because she thinks the guy she's been seeing is actually a terrorist. The feminist lawyer Pepa tries to hire for her friend is actually having an affair - with Ivan! People (including Ivan's grown son and his uptight fiancee) come to see her gorgeous apartment and it's in such a state - the phone's ripped out and she accidentally set her bed on fire. Lucky for Pepa, she can find the Mambo cab at a moment's notice - anything you need, the friendly cabbie has it on hand (pictures of kittens! pictures of kittens!) and she's made up a killer batch of gazpacho.

And so goes Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, a spicy blend of interesting and exotic ingredients, as tangy and cool as Pepa's gazpacho.The digital backdrop brought Madrid to life in vivid color, moving as quickly as life in that vibrant city. There was a lot going on, yes, but I liked it. I'd been nervous, too, because of the reviews, but it was a fun show. This only goes to show - reviewers are usually full of crap. There have been many times when a film or theater critic has totally panned something that I've loved. Your "dreckitude" might be my treasure. You never know.

The cast was all outstanding - how could you put Sherie Rene Scott, Patti LuPone, Brian Stokes Mitchell and Laura Benanti into a show and not get magical performances?

So please don't listen to the critics - go see this one too, if you have the chance. It's light and frothy fun. Maybe it could have benefitted from an out of town try out, but whatever. The score is good and it's a funny and enjoyable evening at the theater.

I'm Andrew !@#&$^ Jackson!

I don't know why I'd heard of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson - I get email on a regular basis from the Public Theater, and it seemed to enjoy a good off-broadway run. When it made the move to Broadway, it started getting Buzz. But then I saw an ad in Time Out New York (which I am still getting! I love you, TONY!)

And I mean, really? I for one am totally in favor of history getting all sexypants.It was my major after all, and how could I say no to an emo-rock musical about our 7th President? I would totally have a beer with AJ (and I don't even drink beer!) and his tight, tight jeans.

The scene is set the second you step into the theater - it's bathed in red light, and moody rock music is blaring out of the speakers. And then our frontier hero emerges and commences to rock. I'm telling you, I was hooked the second the show started. It was fast, funny, and relevant. Told entirely in 2010 vernacular, we followed Andrew Jackson's progress with the assistance of a storyteller - until he shoots her in the neck, growling "I'll take it from here!" Ooooh, yeah, he's SO that guy!

Some of my favorite moments - "meanwhile back in Washington..." introducing the power players: John C. Calhoun, Henry Clay, John Quincy Adams ("If my father got to be the president, I should be president too!" and who later exclaimed, upon being "elected" president "I'm SO EXCITED! I never win ANYTHING!"), Van Buren ("damn it, VanBuren! Why do you have to be such a motherfucker??") and all of the others came dancing out to a Spice Girls song... One of them (maybe JQA or Van Buren?) exclaimed "How laissez un-fair!" Oh, my history geek heart was a-flutter. I remember learning about all of these guys in Mr. Daiberl's class! We had to identify pictures of John C. Calhoun and Henry Clay. I wonder how he'd react to the line in the show that James Monroe was a "douchebag"....

When the election of 1824 got stolen from Jackson (winner of the popular vote but not the electoral, I think?) he sat downstage, looking dejected, and the following came blasting out... "You're standing on the edge of nowhere.... there's only one way out, and your heart's gotta go there..." Yep, it was Cher's "Song for the Lonely" which played, disco ball and all as time passed and Andrew Jackson geared up for his 1828 campaign. You gotta love a show that invokes the Cher.

Jackson won the election with flying colors, becoming the first "People's President." He pledged to be the voice of the people, who rallied around him and voted for him because of his awesome tight jeans and because they'd totally have a beer with him, you know?

But it's hard, right, because the people don't actually know what they want (Just look at Dancing with the Stars. I mean, Bristol Palin? In the final? Really? I liked the girl, I did! She seemed like a really nice person. And major snaps to her for her growth as a dancer. That shit is hard! But still. The final? Really?) and Jackson realized that he couldn't just be Best Friend in Chief - he had to make the hard decisions himself - about the National Bank (a weird factoid just popped into my head about Jackson and the gold standard...) and the Indians and all the rest of it. He'd lost his wife (she died of grief, which as the show points out, is "the kind of shit that happened in the 19th century") and dedicated his life to serving the people (Populism, yeah, yeah!). Major bummer, dude. Is he still that guy?

The show ends reflecting on Jackson's legacy - with terror at home, unstable borders, the rich in charge and the working class suffering (sound familiar?), this Jackson thought of himself as a hero, doing what had to be done on behalf of the country. And on that score, you know, he did awesome - he doubled the size of the country, kicked out the English and French and the Spanish and solved the "Indian Problem." Yeah, Jackson really put the "Man" in "Manifest Destiny." But, the storyteller, back as an angel, points out that there are some who'd argue that Jackson was actually something of an American Hitler, taking drastic measures against the native population. I didn't really think about Jackson's legacy much one way or another. They certainly don't tell you all the good stuff in school (like the whole Jackson marrying someone who was already married thing. Wouldn't you have paid more attention in history class if you were learning stuff like that??)

But anyway, I loved it. I recommend it and would see it again and again. If you're in New York, go and see it. If you're not in New York, go there and see it. Stay at the Belleclaire - no bugs!

I left, happy, splashing through Times Square in the rain, singing the song "The Battle of New Orleans" - all together now! "In 1814 we took a little trip, along with Col. Jackson down the mighty Mississip..."

so nice they named it twice...

So, there is a lot of stuff going on for me, personally, I don't really want to get into it right now. But I realize I didn't say ANYTHING about my trip to NYC a few weeks ago, and since thinking New York makes me ridiculously happy, and happy has been hard to come by this past week, I am going to talk about my trip.

I had been nervous to go, because of all of the news out of NYC having to do with the bedbug "epidemic". Because look - suddenly these things weren't just in hotels anymore. They were in stores, in movie theaters, in all kinds of public places. All I do in NYC is eat and sleep and shop and go to shows. Very much risk for picking up unwanted guests with these activities, yes?? I was scared to death of going to a hotel and getting bitten by creepy crawlies when I slept, and I was absolutely TERRIFIED of unknowingly bringing these critters home with me. DISASTER! Being me, my head went into Worst Case Scenario Mode and it made me crazy. No matter that I had been there in June and we'd been FINE (I didn't know. But still). I dithered for ages, trying to make up my mind. But what the hell? I finally decided that I couldn't just sit around and seal myself up over something that might or might not happen. You've gotta live your life, am I right?

So I found myself buying theater tickets. Booking a flight. Reserving a hotel. Canceling said hotel when I saw a Trip Advisor report of the Bugs. Booking another hotel. And then suddenly it was Tuesday, November 16 and I was at O'Hare! Honestly, at that point, I figured that a bout with bed bugs might actually be BETTER than all of the crap I was dealing with at work.

It was the easiest flight I've ever taken - checked my bag curbside, went through security in about 2 seconds (no full body scan) boarded, took off, yada yada yada, landed at LaGuardia, bag was waiting for me when I got to baggage claim, got on a cab, off I went.

I cannot say enough about the hotel I chose - the Hotel Belleclaire (77th and Broadway). I found it online, booked it because it was bedbug free (!) and had a great stay there. Everyone was so warm and friendly, it was ideally located (right across from the Manhattan Diner!) my room was clean and quiet and blessedly bug free (I checked). I hate elevators, so I never took it - I was on the 3rd floor and so it was easy for me to climb them up and down.

I went to the Shake Shack for lunch - I got the New York dog - without reading the menu. I had no idea New Yorkers put sauerkraut on their hot dogs! What's up with that NYC? Shoulda gotten the "Shack-cago" dog. Even though I don't eat them that way either (and I freaking live here!).

And then I walked. I bought an umbrella at Duane Reade, and then I just started walking. I thought that the city might have changed somehow, with all of this bug stuff. I don't know what all I thought I'd see - buildings with Scarlet B's on them? People furtively itching as they made their way down the streets and on the subway trains? But it was exactly the same as it always was - crowded and chaotic and inviting. I love the feel of New York City. Without a whole lot of effort, I can see myself living there.

So I walked to Lincoln Center and visited the Metropolitan Opera. Alas, no opera on this trip, but I paid my respects to the gift shop. It started raining and so I grabbed the train to Times Square. Oy, Times Square. It's one of those places that you totally have to see, but once you've seen it, it just becomes a massive pain in the ass to deal with. I actually try to avoid it as much as possible, which is difficult, since all of the theaters are right in that area. I had a show at 7:00 (Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, for those of you keeping score at home) but until then, the afternoon was mine and I wandered happily. I ended up in Bryant Park - there's a little holiday craft thing there, little kiosks selling ornaments, knit goods, other gifty type things. I didn't buy anything, but it was fun to just look. I continued wandering, and looking for a place to grab dinner. It was WAY early for dinner, but I stopped at a little Italian place (right near the Belasco Theater, which I found accidentally) and had some delicious lentil soup and a caesar salad. There was a tv playing over the bar, where I was sitting, first it was a soccer game. Then the owners (maybe?), gabbing in Italian, changed the channel - so they could watch the Barefoot Contessa. She was doing something holiday related and the owners were joined by the servers in watching the BC prepare a herb sauce for chicken or turkey or something. That? Was hilarious.

I was early (but what else is new?) so I picked up all of my show tickets, trawled Shubert Alley and spent a whole bunch of time hovering outside of BBAJ.

More on the show later....

Rock Star - BLOODY BLOODY ANDREW JACKSON

This show is amazing. My inner history geek was jumping up and down going squee!

your bulldog smile for the day...

start spreading the news...

I'm going to New York in about a week in honor of my thirty-something-eth birthday. Huh, that sounds a bit clunky. Let's just call it 29th and be done, yes? Naturally, I have packed my three days full of shows:

- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown: I have tickets for this and am excited for it, despite the rather disappointing reviews it's been getting.

- A Life in the Theatre: Patrick Stewart + TR Knight + David Mamet = theatrical awesomeness. A no-brainer

- Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: I still need to get my ticket for this one, but how could I resist a show whose ads blare the slogan "History just got all sexypants"??

Am also debating wedging in a matinee of A Little Night Music but I guess we'll see...

earth to everyone....

It's almost Friday... It's almost Friday... It's almost Friday...
But until then, let's watch Alexander Skarsgard's deleted scene from Zoolander.
Exsqueeze me?

cake boss

I had the strangest dream last night and wanted to share. I was doing something ordinary, like brushing my hair or something, when my mom came in the room and told me "Patti is here."
And I asked "Patti who?" since I don't have friends with that name (only one, notable Diva Obsession). And yes, it was her. In a car. In my driveway. So I went out, wearing my grey velour track suit from old navy (yes, I remember what I was wearing). Apparently, I was in some sort of contest, dealing with her and she was a judge. She wanted to know if she could see "the cake". I have no idea why there was a cake, and I guess in the dream I didn't know there was supposed to be one, so I told her it wasn't ready yet. So she says to me something like "So I won't have final approval on it, then?" And I told her that I could take a picture of it for her so she could see it. Then I invited her in (naturally, can't leave the Diva hanging out in the driveway.) we chatted some more and then she left and I had to figure out what the hell to do regarding this cake.

I woke up before I saw the cake, and before I knew if it met with the Diva's preferences. I remember wondering about flavor. Red velvet? Chocolate? Vanilla? And also, what? Suddenly she's the Cake Boss now?

Finishing the Hat

Yesterday, I started reading "Finishing the Hat" by Stephen Sondheim. This is the first of two volumes of his lyrics and backstory writing and creating each. I started just paging through it, reading through Gypsy, Company, A Little Night Music, West Side Story, Sweeney Todd...

The man is so intelligent, his use of language is amazing(God! The man is God!) and the stories he has in this book are just amazing little pieces of musical theater history. How he surprised Cole Porter with a lyric in "Together Wherever We Go" and how Jerome Robbins wondered "Everything's Coming Up Rose's WHAT?" how "Rose's Turn" grew out of a "dream ballet" concept by Robbins, which he didn't have time to create - absolutely incredible. He also wrote a sidebar, which I found fascinating, about the way that he writes - stretched out on his bed, with a ruled legal pad (with 32 lines, no more, no less) and a very particular kind of pencil.

This morning, I listened to some of these, just to hear the words and the music. I can't wait to dive into the rest of the book.

illinois state dress...

Found this online: Robin Barcus Slonina is an installation and performance artist working on an ongoing project called "States of Dress." She has been touring the country constructing and modeling her unique dress sculpture in hopes to do one for all 50 states. Take a look at some of her recent creations, and see how they're made on her blog, StateofDress.blogspot.com.

This is the Illinois dress, which was apparently made from 28 dresses purchased from thrift stores in Chicago.

blow, gabriel, blow...

Let's start the morning with a little deconstruction, shall we?

we've got "a situation"

So. Despite evidence to the contrary, given how I like to prattle away about tv etc on this blog, I am actually not very into "reality" tv. America's Next Top Model and American Idol (although not this season. JLO? Hell NO!)are about it. I don't watch Survivor, the Amazing Race, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, or any of those network shows. Needless to say, I don't watch any of the trashy cable ones either (I don't have cable. So it is possible I COULD be sitting around watching "Rock of Love" or whatever if I had the means, motive and opportunity.)

If this is the case, there should be absolutely no reason why I should know about Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, and "Snooki" and Sammi "Sweetheart" and any of those other guidos/guidettes who hang around on Jersey Shore. Mind you, I don't know what they actually DO on Jersey Shore, but whatever.

Yet here we are. (I don't live under a rock after all!)

Anyway - the Situation is on Dancing with the Stars. When I heard the cast line up I was like "WHAT?" I mean, half of the cast on that show are NOT STARS (Bristol Palin! Arrrghhh!)

But - you want to know a secret?? I kind of LIKE the Situation. No, he can't really dance. But he seems to be trying and he's kind of cute and hilarious, so.... my mom and I cast our first votes of the season... and we voted for him and Karina. Yes, it is true. Don't judge me.

Also? I thought I would hate Bristol, too, but I don't. She, too, seems to be trying and doing really well, for someone who's never danced before. All of last year's flash mob business taught me how hard it is to learn a routine.

Before you all go calling emergency services to check my sanity levels (laughable, by the way), don't worry. I didn't suddenly turn into a republican. We didn't cast any votes for Bristol.

One more thing - Florence Henderson, you are not fooling anybody! I saw you on Seth's video of the Brady Bunch Variety show or whatever the heck it was called! You can dance, girl!

a new argentina...

Seth's deconstruction of this moment put this danged song in my head for the rest of the weekend! Thanks a lot!

A-mah-zing? A-mah-zing!

Saturday night, I brought mom to see Seth Rudetsky's Deconstructing Broadway at a very small and obscure theater space in Highland Park. Let me say right here that my mom is usually up for pretty much anything, and is typically willing to come along when I say things like "I'm getting tickets for (fill in the blank)! Mark your calendar!" The exception to this, when mom puts her foot down with a firm hand (tip of the hat to YOOOOUUU, Louise Rennison!) is German Opera (unless of course Renee or Bryn are involved) after the massive suckfest that was Lyric's Die Frau withoutzen einen shadow. I've dragged her along to see Patti (on many occasion), Audra McDonald, Kelli O'Hara, Betty Buckley, most recently Sutton Foster, etc etc etc and she's loved all of them. So thanks, mom!

Back to Seth. This teeny tiny theater space was so ill-lit and unmarked that we drove right by it. Damn, downtown Highland Park is DARK in the evenings! We drove right by it and went on for a while, trying to find an address on one of the buildings. We turned around, and I saw a (small) sign with Seth's face on it. Sometimes it is a good thing to be reallyreallyreally early, as I tend to be. It was a totally random crowd - mainly (older) North Shore Types who all seemed to know each other? The people who sat in front of us were greeted, no joke, by practically every person who came in. The space was small - it sat (maybe?) 100 people. They advertised their next show - some You Tube "sensation" that I'd never heard of before, and had no idea why anyone would pay good money to see her? She looked awful. Is there something I am not getting? The rest of the audience was in stitches over the preview of her "show".

Anyway, I had seen Seth do his deconstructions on You Tube, and I also read his Playbill columns almost religiously. On a whim during a trip to NYC a few years ago, I picked up his novel "Broadway Nights" - so I was looking forward to seeing him do his thing live. I didn't quite know how to explain the show to my mom or really to anyone else before seeing it. Now that we've seen it, I will do my best to elaborate. Deconstruct the deconstructions, as it were.

Seth is a musician and an actor and a lover of all things broadway. He's interviewed all the broadway stars on his sirius xm radio show, and has worked with a bunch of them too, so he's got amazing stories. He explained to us what "belting" is, and how singers use their head and chest voices. He demonstrates, with the use of recordings and videos, with hilarious results. In the show, he compared Patti singing a phrase of "Rainbow High" (A-mah-zing!) from Evita with Madonna from the movie (also A-mah-zing in a total trainwreck can't look away kind of way), singing the same phrase (specifically: "I'm their SAVIOR, that's what they call me..."), some of the Brady Bunch variety hour (HA!), Cher singing West Side Story (OMG, that was on TV??), Aretha Franklin giving some funk to "I dreamed a dream" from Les Mis (for real!), lessons on riffing, psychic deconstructing, and the final lesson, AP Deconstructing. The biggest laugh of the night went to an audience member for mispronouncing the word chutzpah. Seth looked shocked and and said something like "You're in Highland Park and you don't know how to pronounce this word?!" Good thing the audience was friendly, or else poor Gary the Audience Member would have been left to the same fate as the poor von trapp kid who hit a clam on the "La" syllable (Seth's guess was that the rest of the cast was so mad at his awful singing that they all converged on him and ate him).

I (rather geekishly) brought my copy of Broadway Nights with me and had the chance to ask Seth to sign it after the show. Hooray!

the diva dishes

From Entertainment Weekly... Oh, Patti, I am still eating this dish up with a SPOON! (And no, I am not on her payroll!*)

Some highlights from the article:

Don’t cry for Patti LuPone. Broadway’s original Evita is back on stage this fall and belting out stories about her long, tumultuous career in a juicy new memior. Note to Andrew Lloyd Weber: Take cover.

LuPone on when Andrew Lloyd Webber—the composer producer who made her a star in Evita—publicly fired her in favor of Glenn Close: “Do I think Glenn Close was complicit in what happened to me? But what I do know is that from the time she was announced, I never heard from her.”

Even 15 years later, she’s still sour on Sir Andrew: “I’m never going to work with him again. It was a cruel experience.”

On her reputation as a diva preceding her: “It’s been since Evita, so it’s been—what?—30 odd years? But they want you to be a bitch.”

On her famously demanding backstage behavior: “I never asked them to change the color of my wig or to kiss and wash my feet. I was always just asking for the things we needed to help us get on stage. It’s always been about the show.”
On David Mamet: “There’s a danger to his work. I love that moment where I can say, ‘I’m here—not in a play.’”

Looking back: “It’s been a hard career, it’s been a phenomenal career. It’s been incredibly interesting, it’s been incredibly difficult. As David Mamet once said, the universe is unfolding as it should.”

* Patti! I will totally be on your payroll!! Call me! ;)

broadway deconstructed

Tomorrow night:

DECONSTRUCTING BROADWAY
COMES TO CHICAGO
Seth Rudetsky's bringing his own private video and audio collection to show you how to differentiate between what’s vocally amazing (Patti LuPone in EVITA) and what’s a vocal travesty (Madonna singing the same material). Gavin Creel, Betty Buckley, The Mamas and the Papas, Carly Simon, The Pajama Game, Melba Moore…ALL will be deconstructed. Video highlights (lowlights?) include the mercifully short-lived BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR and Cher singing all the roles in WEST SIDE STORY. Believe or not, you’ll see it!


Friday Oct 8th and Saturday Oct 9th (sold out!) at 8PM
The Music Theatre Company Space
1850 Green Bay Road
Highland Park, IL 60035

I am a big fan of Seth and all his works (Playbill, Sirius XM radio, the really awesome Tony's opening number he wrote that included Rosie O'Donnell, Betty Buckley, Patti LuPone and Jennifer Holliday, etc etc) and so I am looking forward to seeing this, even though I have NO IDEA where "The Music Theatre Company Space" happens to be.

does she live in a pineapple under the sea?

No silly! She's in a Top Model photo shoot! This incredibly fierce shot of Ann (best picture. Four.Weeks.In.A.Row. Can we say unstoppable? Modelicious? FIERCE? "Sooooo Italian Vogue"?) was taken by Matthew Rolston in an inspired Mermaid-themed shoot. Stunning!

Patti LuPone on the Verge of Another Opening

Patti LuPone on the Verge of Another Opening

The Diva Tells it Like It Is in the pages of Time Magazine (and also this week's Entertainment Weekly with the Social Network cover).

Love it!

wherefore art thou, gnomio?

Gnomio & Juliet. Hahahahahaha.
This.Looks.Awesome!!

at least the week is almost over!

I get a "Dogma" every day from Zelda - that adorable bulldog face always makes me smile (even when she has a wig on)...