(Spoilers are contained in this post, by the way. So if you haven't watched don't read. Or if you read, don't blame me. Okey dokey?)
Look, I get that the series can't exactly follow the books. Where would the suspense be? All of us well versed in all things Sookie would know what's going to happen, blah blah blah. I get it, right? But there are just some things that I like in the books that I wish would have come to life in the series. For instance:
1. I liked it when Tara was in the background, running a clothing store, not cage fighting and kissing girls. Why can't we introduce JB duRone? Are there too many good looking residents of Bon Temps? Can't take one more hot guy wandering around??
2. I liked when Sam was a regular guy, without anger management issues and a sneaky half brother and messed up family.
3. I liked that Terry and Arlene were NOT together and that there was no damned demon baby.
4. I liked Calvin Norris when he wasn't a meth dealing uncle-daddy. Why did they do that to Calvin? Why? Why?
5. I liked Andy Bellefleur when he was just a bumbling deputy cop, married to a sweet schoolteacher and, this is important, without the additction to V.
6. I liked the fact that there was no Nan Flanigan and no mysterious "Authority." Who the hell are these guys, anyway?
7. I liked when Bill Compton was in Peru through most of Dead to the World. Out of sight, out of mind, buddy.
On the other hand, I do like the addition of baby vamp (princess?) Jessica, and the expansion of Hoyt's character, and I love the fact that Lafayette is not dead.
But there is not one single normal resident of Bon Temps. Not one. Do they all need to have bat shit crazy storylines all running at the same time? We can't have one moment of happiness for anybody?
Apparently not. We join Sookie in Faery, where she has gone into the light (but not in a dead way) to join her fae relatives. But it's not all light fruit and flowy dresses and dancing like children of the - uh - light. The Faery Queen wants to close the portal into their world, keeping all those with faery blood inside. Sookie refuses to eat the light fruit, thinking something fishy is going on. Too bad for Barry Bellboy, randomly re-introduced here (in the books, he ends up working for Stan in Dallas. Since I think Stan got killed off last season, that wouldn't have worked.) and also for Sookie's granddaddy, Earl, who'd been missing (presumed drunk?). Sookie is helped by Claude (weird shift of roles here, for Claude and Claudine. I think I liked him better when he was an ego-maniacal male stripper and romance cover model) to escape.
Except - surprise! She returns to Bon Temps only to find that it's a year later and Jason has up and sold her house. Everyone figured Bill had killed her (well, sure) and gave up on her ever coming back. Thanks a lot y'all! Sookie tells Jason where she's really been - "I was in fairy land! It was, well, kind of lame, but I met granddaddy! Here, he gave me his watch for you!'
Look, I get that the series can't exactly follow the books. Where would the suspense be? All of us well versed in all things Sookie would know what's going to happen, blah blah blah. I get it, right? But there are just some things that I like in the books that I wish would have come to life in the series. For instance:
1. I liked it when Tara was in the background, running a clothing store, not cage fighting and kissing girls. Why can't we introduce JB duRone? Are there too many good looking residents of Bon Temps? Can't take one more hot guy wandering around??
2. I liked when Sam was a regular guy, without anger management issues and a sneaky half brother and messed up family.
3. I liked that Terry and Arlene were NOT together and that there was no damned demon baby.
4. I liked Calvin Norris when he wasn't a meth dealing uncle-daddy. Why did they do that to Calvin? Why? Why?
5. I liked Andy Bellefleur when he was just a bumbling deputy cop, married to a sweet schoolteacher and, this is important, without the additction to V.
6. I liked the fact that there was no Nan Flanigan and no mysterious "Authority." Who the hell are these guys, anyway?
7. I liked when Bill Compton was in Peru through most of Dead to the World. Out of sight, out of mind, buddy.
On the other hand, I do like the addition of baby vamp (princess?) Jessica, and the expansion of Hoyt's character, and I love the fact that Lafayette is not dead.
But there is not one single normal resident of Bon Temps. Not one. Do they all need to have bat shit crazy storylines all running at the same time? We can't have one moment of happiness for anybody?
Apparently not. We join Sookie in Faery, where she has gone into the light (but not in a dead way) to join her fae relatives. But it's not all light fruit and flowy dresses and dancing like children of the - uh - light. The Faery Queen wants to close the portal into their world, keeping all those with faery blood inside. Sookie refuses to eat the light fruit, thinking something fishy is going on. Too bad for Barry Bellboy, randomly re-introduced here (in the books, he ends up working for Stan in Dallas. Since I think Stan got killed off last season, that wouldn't have worked.) and also for Sookie's granddaddy, Earl, who'd been missing (presumed drunk?). Sookie is helped by Claude (weird shift of roles here, for Claude and Claudine. I think I liked him better when he was an ego-maniacal male stripper and romance cover model) to escape.
Except - surprise! She returns to Bon Temps only to find that it's a year later and Jason has up and sold her house. Everyone figured Bill had killed her (well, sure) and gave up on her ever coming back. Thanks a lot y'all! Sookie tells Jason where she's really been - "I was in fairy land! It was, well, kind of lame, but I met granddaddy! Here, he gave me his watch for you!'
Jason's a cop now, and in another weird shift of roles, is actually the brains behind the Bon Temps police force because Andy is addicted to V (maybe at the end of the season, Sookie will find out that the fairies dropped her into Bizarro Bon Temps so that she'll want to come back and eat the light-fruit?). He sold the house to some large corporation AIK International (huh, hmmm, I wonder who that could be?) and they redid the house (cleaning out all maenad-related messiness). Just outside, Sookie finds she has two vampire shaped lawn ornaments - Bill and Eric. Bill orders (?!) Eric to leave and he does. What is happening??
We see what else has been happening since Sookie's been gone. Hoyt and Jessica are playing house, and that's not going all that great. She's not much of a cook, and she's starting to want to have more of a variety, blood wise. Uh oh.
Lafayette and Jesus are still together, and dabbling in the occult. Well, Jesus is dabbling. Lafayette is, rather reluctantly, tagging along, despite his own true power. Jesus manages to convince him to come hang out with his coven, led by a housewife-ish witch named Marnie. Yeah, sure. This is going to end up great.
Tara, scarred for life because of Franklin, and presumably saddened by the loss of Sookie, took off on the road, and uh, became a lesbian and a cage fighter. They haven't really explained what's been happening with Tara. But something is definitely up with her girlfriend. Stay tuned.
Sam is taking shifter anger management classes for shooting Tommy in the butt. He meets a girl. They shift into horses and run around together. Woo hoo! Tommy is (strangely) dating or possibly (hopefully?) scamming Hoyt's mom.
Arlene had her baby, Mikey, spawn of Rene, who is possibly evil (why? huh? where is this going? they're either going to have to kill the baby, which nobody wants to see cause that's just mean, or, like, exorcise him, which nobody wants to see because nobody really even cares about Arlene.) Terry is the sane one in this relationship. Terry sane? Jason smart? See? Bizarro Bon Temps.
Oh, and Bill is the King of Louisiana.
!!!
I know, right? Despite the fact that he held no office, had no experience in leadership or anything like that, he kills Sophie-Anne and is crowned (ish) by Nan Flanigan. Blah blah, vampire politics, blah. That's why he gets to order Eric around. Boo.
Speaking of our tall, blond, viking vampire, you'd better sit down when I tell you this- he's the one who bought Sookie's house! I'm shocked (not really). He walked right in on Sookie (who is naked, of course) and declares "You're MINE."
End of the first episode.
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