let the games begin!

Top 10 moments/ discoveries from last night's Opening Ceremonies:

1. Shaun White has better hair than me (NO FAIR!)

2. Stupid NBC commentators either have no clue about winter sports or no clue how to talk to female athletes. During one interview with three girl half-pipers, all the interviewer could think to ask them was if they would all still be friends if one beat the others. Really? There's nothing more interesting to ask women snowboarders than if there is going to be a catfight if one wins gold? What do is the best answer to that, anyway? Would the girls say "Yeah, I'd hate that bitch forever if she beat me. I am WAY better than she is?" Of course not. What is the point of a question like that??? They'd never, ever ask a bunch of guys that. Ever.

3. I know how this sounds but - dude. Canada has a Prime Minister? I knew they must, but I've never heard him mentioned. I couldn't tell you his name even now. Also learned a bit of Canadian geography. By the way, doesn't "George Vancouver" sound like something a parent would make up to tell their kids? "Yes, honey, this place was discovered by - uhhhh - George Vancouver!" I didn't know he was real.

4. I love how during the parade of nations, there was a helpful little map to show you where all the countries were - in relation to the US. So they'd say, for instance "Belarus" and in the corner, they'd show a map of the US ("here's us") and then show the location of "Belarus" ("and here's where THAT is in relation to the US.") I know we can be a bunch of dum-dums sometimes (see number 3) but really? They didn't even show where the country was in relation to Vancouver - they showed it in relation to the US. Because, of course, it is all about us.

5. Why weren't the girls carrying the nation signs wearing any pants with their parkas? As a founding member of the Coalition of Wearing Pants, I strongly opposed their outfits.

5.5 Other sartorial standouts were Ireland's bright green pants, Germany, Finland's gross jackets, and our polo pony country club gear. Cable knit sweaters AND down jackets? The ceremony was INDOORS. The Bermuda contingent walked in in red shorts. Also I don't recall what country it was who wore those pants with the crazy colored designs, but they need to be burned. Coalition orders.

6. New version of "We Are the World" was played (shameless filler) - I recognized a few of the people but otherwise - who WERE they all??

7. Much, much better commercials than the Super Bowl

8. Too many previews for "Parenthood" and "The Marriage Ref." Bad taste points for making Alec Baldwin giving ANYONE marriage advice. Also, Ron Howard, you are wrong. There are many many many many things funnier than your show Parenthood. Gross.

9. Lighting of the torch was WAY anticlimactic - it is supposed to be the culmination of the ceremony and instead it got weighed down by a technical glitch AND the fact that hello? The ceremony was INSIDE and the torch has to be OUTSIDE. So they had to send Gretzky off in a car to go light the actual cauldron. Can you imagine if it had gone out and Wayne had to go back in to the BC center, head hanging, going "Anybody gotta light?"

10. Playing the famous game "Hey! I didn't know (fill in the blank) was Canadian!" Some of those for me were: Donald Sutherland, Nelly Furtado, Joni Mitchell, Sarah McLachlan and almost all of the people in the Come to Vancouver commercial (Michael J. Fox, Kim Cattrall (maybe?))